Bachelor in Paradise - Episode 2 Recap
It’s the second night in and we already can’t keep up with all the drama!
After a boozy first day everyone is feeling the heat and spending it by the pool, like surely there are worse ways to nurse a hangover!
We start off with Flo and Jake going on their date. And just as we suspected, Davey is PISSED! Guess Jake isn’t about that bro’s before hoe’s life, sorry Davey but your mate is a bit shit.
These boys are playing with my girl Flo’s heart and it must STOP immediately. This badass woman will NOT be taken for a ride this season. Girl Power!
ARRIVAL 15 - SAM
He’s back, with his “high standards” - those high standards obviously don’t count towards his hair! WTF is going on with that mop mate? Sort your shit out ASAP, it’s an eyesore.
Tara knows she’s not giving him a rose and honestly babes, fair enough!
Cut back to Flo and Jake’s date where they have a steamy pash under the waterfall. Flo doesn’t want to be hurt again by him, WTF Flo, he needs to go.
Alright, now let’s get on to the Brett drama. K so this guy thought he could have the best of both worlds. TBH you can kind of understand the logic - an all expenses paid holiday with your gf in Fiji while racking up some Insta followers & the odd D grade sponsorship deal plugging whatever the male equivalent of laxative tea is. Not happening Brett. Too bad, so sad.
Cut to Tara carrying on like a pork chop because she knew about Brett’s “misso” - girl save your tears for the rest of the season!! Go kiss Michael and cheer yourself up!! Yeah, his teeth are weird but he looks like a nice dude otherwise!
ARRIVAL 16 - LAURINA
Welcome to paradise Laurina! Let’s hope there’s no “dirty street pies” this season! Although it’s day one and you’re already sipping cocktails by the pool in Fiji, so I think you’ll survive!
Laurina walks in right away with a date card, we can just see the producers plotting how they can stir up shit.
Blake makes the first move, and apparently she’s into douchebags so she takes him on a pity date. ALSO - Can we agree that Blake looks rough!!!!
They rub mud all over each other and have a pash on the beach. Blake’s smitten, although she rates the kiss a 2/10 LOL soz Blake.
*Cue the suspenseful music and Keira’s smirk cos she loves having the power.
Nina > Eden (obvs, they’re cute AF and WE MUST PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS)
Leah > Mack ( their rose exchange was so obviously transactional it hurts, no ones forgotten she was arguably one of the worst people on Matty J’s season…..and Mack… no words)
Keira > Sam (Bondi beach bimbo match made in heaven, they will no doubt talk about his weird hair and secret Bondi things only Bondi people know about. Get rid of this man baby!)
Lisa > Luke (yep we called it! The perfect boring couple that no one cares about except for the fact he’s still hot. Mum and Dad vibes of the season we reckon)
Laurina > Blake (maybe redeem himself with Lorena… but probably not. He’s the worst)
Tara > Michael (Good choice babes)
Flo > Jake (WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. WHYYYYYYYYY????)
Brett’s out - good. But Davey! Yeah, we know he’s full of himself and all but we kinda wanted to see how things would have played out with Flo-rider. Just realised that theres only 2 good dudes on this season so far…. BRING IN THE REAL MEN and no, we don’t mean Jarrod! Waiting for my man Apollo.